At times, I think I put too much pressure on myself. I want the house to look a certain way, the kids to be dressed just so, to bake cupcakes that are so prettily decorated, to match my hijab exactly to my clothing, the list goes on and on… I sometimes wonder, if in all my frivolous behaviour I am not sending the wrong message to my children.
Do any of those things really matter? Who am I trying to impress with all of this? Am I not teaching them that they have to behave in a particular manner to be socially accepted? Do my actions not suggest that societal expectations are to be adhered to, even if it means sacrificing other matters of importance?
I want my children to grow up with a strong sense of themselves, to be confident individuals, who do not feel accountable or answerable to society, for them to know that at the end of it all, they’re accountable to Allaah alone! I want them to be happy! Not to feel forced or boxed in by societies expectations of them, to grow up believing that as long as their dreams and goals are halaal, it is absolutely possible, and more so attainable.
Growing up, I was a very nervous, shy, unsure person, but have finally found the ability to be more of myself! And it is through my children, that I have found my confidence, and my voice. Now I hope that through me, they find theirs! That they’re able to stand strong in their convictions, in their education, in their Islamic studies, in their quest for happiness and ultimately in their Eemaan!
So today, we broke all the rules, had donuts for breakfast, played until Dhuhr, read stories in the afternoon, had a indoor supper picnic in the lounge, and huge smiles and hearts full of joy all-round! الحمدالله