In the info section of my Facebook page, it says “While every journey through parenthood is very personal and quite unique, we can still come together to share our ideas, thoughts, and successes. Let’s inspire, motivate, have fun and help one another to be the best Muslim Moms we can!” And that’s precisely what we’re doing this month. I’ve invited a group of diverse and inspiring mums to share their personal journeys through mother hood with us. This is the first in the series.
A young mum, who married at 16 years old shares with us some of the challenges and difficulties, as well as the joys and successes she’s achieved thus far. She’s from Cape Town, South Africa, and has 2 young sons that she’s nicknamed her little lion cubs, and so we’ll call her Umm-Asadaan, mother of lions. She’s recently embarked on achieving her dream of becoming a designer, and has done a wonderful job thus far.
This is her story:
Being only 21, having gotten married at 16, I find myself wondering how it would’ve been had I chosen a different path. Even though getting married so young was entirely my choice, I can’t help but wonder.
Usually at this stage many individuals are still out in the world finding themselves, discovering their likes and dislikes, studying or working towards a goal. Me? In addition to all of the above, I’m a stay at home mom, who personally feels that no other career or job in the world requires more patience than motherhood.
Think about all you do for yourself… Example eating, washing, getting dressed, keeping yourself occupied… those are the things that our kids look up to us for and depend on us to do not only for ourselves but for them too.
There are days where I just feel I wanna be alone. Or I’d ask,” can’t they stop asking me things or expecting me to do this and that”. Then they look at me with those innocent eyes and joyful smiles and it takes my breathe away knowing that they actually belong 2me and I realise how much I love them. The smallest little things they do have the power 2melt your heart like their 1st smile, their 1st steps, their little jumbled 1st words, their excited faces when you tell them we going to the beach, their appreciative expressions when you give them a snack and even ‘the little face’ they make after you’ve reprimanded them. These are what makes it all worth it.
Then there are days where it all just becomes too much, and it feels like the worlds on my shoulders, and the weight is just too heavy and I think to myself that I just can’t go on anymore. Then I turn to all avenues for help but ultimately we are the only ones who can truly be there for ourselves… If we are not going to keep our heads up and stay positive, then who would do it for us?
Girls my age face dilemmas of whether to study another year or go work. What to wear, to dye or not to dye hair,which weekend plans to follow etc. I have those dilemnas too, but the ones that take priority are more in the line of better methods of teaching, disciplining, what to cook, how to keep calm when the kids are up to mischief and what to do to keep kids occupied today. There are times I just feel I’m not cut out for this, and other times I just wish it all came with an instruction manual…
Unfortunately life is such where we have to face our challenges heads on , make mistakes and learn from them and try to continuously better ourselves.
The key of success surely and undoubtedly is positivity, and believing that you are where you are, because you were destined to be there… Stay positive and have faith in Allah and you’ll notice even the greatest of challenges become bearable. This is exactly where I’m supposed to be and nothing could ever make me happier or bring me more fulfilment than my little cubs do.