An ideal family is always one were we imagine a father, a mother and the children. What happens when you start off in that manner, and then suddenly you find yourself being a single parent? Nareesa is a mom from Pretoria and finds herself in this exact situation. She writes of her challenges, and her successes. This is her story:
I am single mom to three amazing little girls. I wasn’t always a single mom, so their wonderful personalities and beautiful ways cannot be attributed to me alone.
They are a complete, body, mind and soul “job”! There are many joys watching them learn and navigate their way through this life and sometimes I feel I am just a bystander.
The day to day basics bring much laughter and many tears. The laughter comes from their individual personalities and how much they argue with me and each other over everything. This is also the reason for the tears!
My girls are so entertaining on the worst days and every moment I / we remember their dad and during the good and bad times wish he were here to share with us.
This year after losing my husband, the biggest heartache of being their mother has been seeing and feeling their pain. I doubted myself and how to help them many times. Dealing with their grief and mine has been the most difficult to go through. Routine and planning the day is what I used to thrive on as a parent. However in the past year, I have quickly learned, that I can have my routine as the girls need this badly, but planning is all in the hands of Allah (SWT). As a mother I am learning to take one day at a time again.
I have come a long way in this year of Single parenting and Insha’Allah I pray Allah Almighty will guide me further to see them become the wonderful women I know they can be.
I have not travelled this journey of motherhood alone and for this I am eternally grateful. I say a thousand times Alhamdulillah to Almighty Allah for guiding me thus far and for blessing me with the precious gift of my daughters, who remind me of their dad every day. Alhamdulillah – for my mother, brothers and selfless friends, who have been there for all four of us this year. For the opportunity to get closer to You (SWT) and seek the knowledge I’ve always wanted to, to know more about my deen, for giving me comfort in Islam. May it continue through all the days of my life in this dunya.
This has been very difficult to write, as along with loving my girls – I loved their father and therefore “Motherhood” for me is so intricately linked “Parenthood”, to the contribution of the team effort my husband made, and to his presence. I am glad I put it down on paper though – it reaffirms how much I love my daughters and how important raising them the right way is to me. Even on the toughest of days, I am so grateful Almighty Allah has entrusted them to me.
They are my “gift”, and they give me the strenght to go on.
Shukr Ya Allah.